Yes or No: EFMs Are Making Their Maximum Contribution ūüėĪ A Picture Book ūüė≠

Posted: 12:38 am ET
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Part I: ¬†“EFMs are making their maximum contribution!”

Yes, Sir. Yes.

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Great! Word cloud your maximum contribution.

Note: Eligible Family Members (EFMs) washing their vegetables in Clorox or donating one collapsed lung due to host country pollution are considered normal condition of the service, and do not/not count as contribution.

How many receptions did you host? Did you cook all the meals? Did you massage your diplomat’s tired feet? How do you rate yourself in the¬†perfection scale of a diplomatic hostess?

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See, a perfectly painless exercise!

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Part II: “EFMs are making their maximum contribution.”

No, Sir. No… I mean …

via professionalfangirls.com

So, EFMs are not working as hard as they should in support of the mission.

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No, sir, that’s not what I mean, see … it’s like …

You have an MBA from Wharton and you take any job you can to support the mission,¬†keep your brain from turning into a rusty nail, and keep the bag lady “I’ll live to be 86 with no retirement” nightmare away.

Certainly underpaid, and underemployed but 30.0001% of EFMs are LUCKY if they can get any job. Any  job maybe except as a cheesy hottie in Minsk.

 

But 56.01234% of EFMs do not even have jobs. And see, the 14.0016% who works in the local economy (if there is a bilateral work agreement), may have to give up some of their immunity.

Also if you have to start a business or stick your tongue out, you need permission from the Chief of Mission, who may/may not give it to you.

Then there’s …¬†well, the delicate¬†part.

If your spouse finds a¬†younger¬†model, well, damn, you could be back in the USA looking for a paid job at age 52 with a resume that’s more spotty than, oh lord, a Spotted Trunkfish!

Do you know that …. wait …

 

Too much information? You mean, wouldn’t a “yes” or “no” and a word cloud¬†work just as well?

 

The end? The END!? But … but …. there’s more!

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@StateDept “Listening Tour” Survey Leaks, So Here’s Your Million Dollar Word Cloud

Posted: 4:34 pm PT
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Zachary Fryer-Biggs, Senior Pentagon Reporter covering national security for Jane’s obtained a copy of the internal survey sent out at the ¬†as part of¬†Secretary Tillerson’s “listening tour” through Insigniam.

And then John Hudson, who used to be with¬†¬†and now the¬†Foreign Affairs Correspondent for¬†¬†writes that the survey feels like Office Space, so he came up with all sorts of GIFs (must see, by the way). We thanked¬†John for the GIFs; frankly, we don’t know where to store our¬†laughing teardrops.

John Hudson also asked the State Department for comments, but the now famous Mark Stroh — who is just doing his job — and whose press shop now refuses to acknowledge or respond to inquiries from this blog — came back with an exclamation point!

What if you can’t come up with a word cloud? ¬†To borrow what FBI Director Comey said the other day on teevee, “Lordy, that would be really bad.” So we’ve decided¬†that we all deserve a million dollar word cloud. Here you go. You’re welcome!

 

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@StateDept Ranks #3 in Happiest Senior Executives, Mind the Happiness Gap

Posted: 12:50 am  EDT
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This report is based on the¬†Federal Employee Viewpoint Survey (FEVS),¬†a tool that “measures employees’ perceptions of whether, and to what extent, conditions characterizing successful organizations are present in their agencies.” The full report is available here.

Only 1 in 6 Employees Believe State Dept Senior Leadership Understands FS Work/Life Challenges

Posted: 3:01  am EDT
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Via afsa.org:

In 2014, the American Foreign Service Association (AFSA) commissioned a third-party survey to better understand members’ views of AFSA as a professional association and union, as well as their opinions on AFSA’s advocacy and labor management priorities.  Of the nearly 3,500 responses, 1,600 came from active-duty State members who responded to State-specific questions.

The infographics made available by AFSA (pdf) notes that 40% agree or strongly agree that slowing promotion rates, limited career advancement, or a lack of professional development opportunities is causing them to consider leaving the Foreign Service. It also notes the membership opinion on quality of work and life issues as well as security issues.

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We are still hunting down a copy of the full membership survey.  We should note that AFSA is the professional association and labor union of the United States Foreign Service with more than 16,345 dues-paying members. According to its 2014 annual report, it has 10,664 members who are in active-duty with the State Department and 3,717 members who are retired employees. Looks like 15% of the active service members and 51% of retired members participated in this survey.

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