Posted: 12:38 am ET
Part I: “EFMs are making their maximum contribution!”
Yes, Sir. Yes.
Great! Word cloud your maximum contribution.
Note: Eligible Family Members (EFMs) washing their vegetables in Clorox or donating one collapsed lung due to host country pollution are considered normal condition of the service, and do not/not count as contribution.
How many receptions did you host? Did you cook all the meals? Did you massage your diplomat’s tired feet? How do you rate yourself in the perfection scale of a diplomatic hostess?
See, a perfectly painless exercise!
Part II: “EFMs are making their maximum contribution.”
No, Sir. No… I mean …
So, EFMs are not working as hard as they should in support of the mission.
No, sir, that’s not what I mean, see … it’s like …
You have an MBA from Wharton and you take any job you can to support the mission, keep your brain from turning into a rusty nail, and keep the bag lady “I’ll live to be 86 with no retirement” nightmare away.
Certainly underpaid, and underemployed but 30.0001% of EFMs are LUCKY if they can get any job. Any job maybe except as a cheesy hottie in Minsk.
But 56.01234% of EFMs do not even have jobs. And see, the 14.0016% who works in the local economy (if there is a bilateral work agreement), may have to give up some of their immunity.
Also if you have to start a business or stick your tongue out, you need permission from the Chief of Mission, who may/may not give it to you.
Then there’s … well, the delicate part.
If your spouse finds a younger model, well, damn, you could be back in the USA looking for a paid job at age 52 with a resume that’s more spotty than, oh lord, a Spotted Trunkfish!
Do you know that …. wait …
Too much information? You mean, wouldn’t a “yes” or “no” and a word cloud work just as well?
The end? The END!? But … but …. there’s more!