Foggy Bottom’s Big Chill Freezes Even Retired Diplomat … Diplo Doggy Wins!

Posted: 1:01 am EDT
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For obvious reasons, we are unable to share the name of the retired diplomat here but we have permission to share this with our readers.

Retired FSO: I was planning on blogging about Hillary’s emails. Title: “If I Did What Hillary Did, I’d Be In Jail.”

Me: Great! Looking forward to reading it!

Retired FSO: But I won’t.

Me: Oh?

Retired FSO: Just read 3 FAM 4170. I’m retired. I can’t believe I really need to clear my blogposts with PA. I mean, I’d use common sense, you know? I wouldn’t be divulging stuff like, say, our nuclear launch codes, or the chronically malfunctioning air conditioning system at Main State. I’d just focus on how when you become a charter member of America’s political elite, the rules don’t apply to you. That’s all. 

Me:  Only stuff “of department concern” needs clearance. Max timeframe for blogs, five days.

Retired FSO: But they’ve made me jittery. I don’t fancy jail. They’d probably force me to watch re-runs of “Madame Secretary” every day; let me read only the FAM! The eighth amendment  doesn’t allow this kind of cruel and unusual punishment, but Mother State can be as vindictive as a Borgia dowager.

Me: Okay. So, does this mean you’ll stop blogging?

Retired FSO: Nah. Maybe I’ll just write about my pets from now on. Think anybody would read Diplo Doggy’s Adventures?

Me: I will. 

Retired FSO: We live in difficult times.

Via Giphy Commons

Via Giphy Commons

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