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IamA United States Diplomat: Anonymous FSO Gets on Reddit and He’s a Riot!

— Domani Spero

On February 14, an anonymous Foreign Service officer got on Reddit, the “front page of the Internet” and did an AMAA  (Ask Me Almost Anything). We don’t know if this is the first AMA ever by a U.S. diplomat on Reddit, but we have not seen or heard about any AMA done by the State Department. We know from the AMA exchange that the FSO is in his 40’s serving overseas with eight posts under his belt, he has a family who moves around with him, and is bidding for a western European post.  And he did not vote for President Obama.

Via imgur.com

Via imgur.com

This AMAA has 3,452 comments so far.  The anonymous FSO who calls himself “anFSO” on Reddit comes across as smart, witty, and somebody with a sense of humor.  Seems like a guy you want to hang out with.  The State Department via careers.state.gov ought to pay this guy’s overtime.

Here is his intro via Reddit:

Hi. I’m a US diplomat currently serving overseas. Here is my well-worn diplomatic passport with a personal note for you all. AMAA – I will be as open as I can.

The opinions I express here are my own, and are not representative of the views of the US government. They should not be misconstrued as official statements by any means.

Edit: A few FAQs:

• I didn’t donate anything to get my position, as I am not an appointee.

• If you are interested in becoming a Foreign Service Officer, head over to careers.state.gov. You can read about the process to join there, which starts with the FSOT. There are no formal education requirements to join, and you don’t need prior language skills.

• I’ve never had to use my diplomatic immunity, and I don’t know anyone who has had to use it. Sorry – boring, I know.

Thanks to everyone who was reasonable in their comments. To those whose constructive comments & questions I did not get to today I will do my best to get to them tomorrow. Keep them coming!

Edit2: I went through and responded to most of the questions earlier today. Those comments I didn’t respond to were either trolls (gotta love Reddit) or things I can’t discuss. This was fun and hopefully I’ll do it again sometime – I didn’t expect this big of a response. Safe travels and don’t forget to vote! ~anFso

Reddit has over 100 million unique visitors a month. It has a 5.4 billion page views a month with over 700 active communities.  You want to know what the American public wants to know about you, read the AMA.  We have culled some of the more amusing, amazing, and interesting exchange below:

Reddit user: Diplomatically, tell me to fuck off
anFSO: “Sorry, that’s not something the United States can support.”

Reddit user: Which country throws the best national day party?
anFSO: France.

Reddit user: Telegrams……are they delivered by a hundred year old dude in old-timey clothes?
anFSO: No. It’s all electronic now – basically just an e-mail with a bunch of funny headers.

Reddit user: What is one interesting fact about your work that many people may not know?
anFSO: It’s not all parties and schmoozing. Working in an embassy is actually fairly mundane.

Reddit user: Why is the Peace Corps in China? Really. Why?
anFSO: I don’t really know. The Peace Corps is in some strange places.

Reddit user: How many different nationalities of strange have you planted “Old Glory” in?
anFSO: If I told you, I’d probably be accused of being an imperialist.

Reddit user: What was your most proud to be American moment?
anFSO: Every time there’s a change of administration it’s a good feeling. I have had contacts ask me how it’s possible to change leaders so peacefully.

Reddit user: So you couldn’t use “Diplomatic Immunity” like the dude in Lethal Weapon II did?
anFSO: No. Shockingly real life is not like the movies.

Reddit user: I think you need to fill out a Visa form and give us a 2 x 3 x 3 photograph to enter reddit.
anFSO: I’ll make sure I don’t smile…

Reddit user: What if a child of a Diplomat is born in the current country the person is serving in?
anFSO: Then the diplomat is a proud new parent!

Reddit user: How does it feel working for the devil? Just kidding please don’t drone strike me.
anFSO: I’ve never felt that way, and don’t worry – I won’t.

Reddit user: Are prostitutes a primary source of entertainment for most international diplomats?
anFSO: No

Reddit user: any facepalm moments about your country’s behaviour you can share that made your job at the time a lot harder?
anFSO: Wikileaks made things difficult, but only because candid opinions were out in the open for the first time in such quantity. I don’t think the reporting officers had anything to be ashamed of – they reported honestly and with integrity. As a diplomat should.

Reddit user: how many people have u killed so far ?
anFSO: None that I know of.

Reddit user: Have all Embassies been upgraded since the infamous Jason Bourne incident in 2002 when he scaled the walls and escaped?
anFSO: If I told you I’d probably have to … report it :-\

Reddit user: Do you get tailor made clothes as work clothes or do you have to foot the bill yourself?anFSO: All work clothing is the employee’s responsibility.

Reddit user: Ever had to deal with a crashed UFO in whatever country you were working in?
anFSO: No – the UFO landed safely.

There was an elevated conversation concerning the use of toilet paper. Dear god, yesterday Venezuela and then TP on Reddit, our day’s complete!

Reddit user: As a toilet paper enthusiast polling American poopers, prior to wiping, do you fold your TP in a neat square or do you crumple it into a ball shape and then wipe?
anFSO: Crumple it.

Vigorous discussion on crumpling versus wiping followed, of course. There were questions whether diplomats get a special rate if they stay at the Embassy Suites and whether anyone will get a sniper bullet for taking a picture of an embassy.  After a Reddit user called him a “handsomely paid PR-guy” and he denied it, there was a discussion whether anFSO is paid well, handsome, a guy, not a guy, or a reptilian overlord. Very enlightening.

Questions about money and ambassadors were asked and answered:

Reddit user: Are you doing this while on my dime?
anFSO: No

Reddit user: What do you do that I should consider worth my tax dollars? That’s an actual benefit to most Americans?
anFSO: We keep you from having to spend a lot more tax dollars in a shooting war.

Reddit user: How much did you pay to be a diplomat? I hear you can pay $500,000 and be confirmed as an ambassador to a country. And, you don’t even have to know anything about the country you’re “ambassadoring” to.
anFSO: $0. Anyone who pays any amount of money for my job is an idiot. At least if you get an Ambassadorship you get the title for life and an embassy to lord over for a few years.

Reddit user: Are you a rich person who is friends with someone in the federal government or did you legitimately earn your assignment?
anFSO: If I was rich, I wouldn’t be working for the government.

Reddit user: I don’t know why you’re being down voted. That’s how you get these positions. It may not have been Obama, but it was someone he raised money for that got him the job.
anFSO: My position is not politically appointed. Most Foreign Service positions are not politically appointed.

Reddit user: How much did that gig cost you?
anFSO: More than 10 years and less than 25 away from family members, in places without reliable electricity or a safe water supply, countless hours on airplanes/in airports, missed birthdays, school plays, family reunions, and major events in our friends’ lives. Other than that, nothing.

Reddit user: Do you agree with the current Spoils system used to appoint US ambassadors? Should there me a more rigorous set of requirements to hold such positions?
anFSO: No. The Constitution gives the power to appoint Ambassadors to the President.

Reddit user: What do you mean by diplomat? Ambassador?
anFSO: I am not an Ambassador.

Reddit user: How much did you know about your host country before you went? Had you been there? I ask in relation to recent ambassadorial nominations and their seemingly complete lack of knowledge about their nominated posts.
anFSO: My first few tours I went in cold. As my career has progressed I find myself dealing with issues and countries I am more familiar with.

Reddit user: The Daily Show did a bit two (three?) days ago about how allegedly, ambassadors who might not be best for the job …. Have you experienced this? Where top diplomats and/or ambassadors seem completely incompetent and seem to have bought their way in? Or did Jon Stewart only find a few rare exceptions?
anFSO: “Best for the job” is highly subjective. If a nominee for an ambassadorship was a campaign donor and that gives them access to the President, is that a bad thing? It’s the President’s decision and the President is specifically empowered to appoint Ambassadors by the Constitution. I’m not really one to second-guess.

Reddit user: Jon Stewart recently talked about new US ambassadors being chosen for the job because they raised money for the election ….. What is your opinion on this?
anFSO: My opinion is that access to the President, no matter how it is obtained, is a valuable thing for any Ambassador. It really doesn’t bother me if they know nothing about the country they are in or have never worked in the Department before. Some of those turn out to be the best Ambassadors.

Reddit user: Can you give an example of someone who got their Ambassadorship in this manner and turned out to be one of the “best”, as you put it?
anFSO: Amb. Charles Rivkin.

There were a few questions about Benghazi and Argo, as if those were the only attacks that occurred at our overseas posts.  The questions show they are the only ones that stuck in the public’s memory.

Reddit user: Have you ever feared that you would be trapped in an Argo-like situation?
anFSO: Yes. There are a few seminal events that all diplomats talk about from a security standpoint – Tehran, East Africa, and now Benghazi. Each resulted in major changes to embassy security.

Reddit user: What’s your take on the Benghazi incident? How have you and your counterparts reacted as a whole?
anFSO: I think it’s shameful how the political firestorm overshadowed the memory of the 4 who gave their lives for their country.

Reddit user: What are your thoughts on the events at Benghazi? Is there concern about other attacks on US diplomatic outposts among people like yourself? What can you tell us about security measures before and after that event?
anFSO: I never went to Benghazi, but the men & women of Diplomatic Security generally do an excellent job of keeping us safe. From what I’ve heard, everyone there was willing to accept a great amount of personal risk to complete the US Mission to Libya’s goals. Tragically they paid the ultimate price. Even more tragically, the memory of those who lost their lives were overshadowed by the political firestorm that followed.

Reddit user: Are you worried about being abandoned by the current administration and left to die like the four diplomats murdered in Benghazi?
anFSO: No

Lots of questions on hiring/applications, all referred to careers.state.gov website. Some diplobrats and possibly DOS-connected Reddit users showed up during the AMA. One posted that he/she is “a Foreign Service brat for the past decade or so, Dad is currently on a leave of tour to work in Iraq, nice to see FSOs get some attention on here!”

Another user asked, “Are you insane doing an AMA? Either you will say something and get fired or you can’t answer anything.”

Yet another complained: “You’re not really a diplomat, you describe yourself as an FSO but you haven’t mentioned any specific posts or jobs you’ve held. Both my parents served a combined 50 years in the Foreign Service and never have I met a single person in the service who answers questions the way you do even if in a casual online setting.”

And because no good deed goes unpunished, another Reddit user armed with the FAM rages: “Have you read 5 FAM 777, 3 FAM 4170, or 3 FAM 4172.1-3(A)? The reason you should not be doing this without clearance isn’t because it might damage your corridor reputation but because of how your numerous downvoted comments can make the USG, FSOs, and other USG officials appear.” The discussion on this thread includes  how to report anFSO to the Feds. Two users said they reported him to the FBI, one suggested reporting him to Diplomatic Security. Somebody supplied the email for DS.

We’re not sure what they reported — one of your diplomats is on Reddit explaining what you do, get a duct tape?

We thought anFSO responded to questions appropriately and then very politely disengaged when necessary. Some Reddit were suspicious and wanted to make sure anFSO was “confirmed by the moderators.” Some were convinced he was “either a troll, or some intern who’s biggest responsibility is making coffee and zeroxing.”

And then there’s this comment:

“This Diplomat does not appear shady enough for a truly entertaining AMA.”

Four years of 21st century statecraft and for the American public, our diplomats still might as well be aliens from Mars.

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Arctic Ambassador Position Announced, Move-In Ready Office Available – Hurry Before It Melts!

— Domani Spero

On Friday, Secretary Kerry announced the creation of a Special Representative for the Arctic Region to help advance American interests in the Arctic:

The Arctic region is the last global frontier and a region with enormous and growing geostrategic, economic, climate, environment, and national security implications for the United States and the world.

Today I informed my two former Senate colleagues that here at the State Department we will soon have a Special Representative for the Arctic Region, a high-level official of stature who will play a critical role in advancing American interests in the Arctic Region, particularly as we prepare efforts for the United States to Chair the Arctic Council in 2015. President Obama and I are committed to elevating our attention and effort to keep up with the opportunities and consequences presented by the Arctic’s rapid transformation—a very rare convergence of almost every national priority in the most rapidly-changing region on the face of the earth.

The great challenges of the Arctic matter enormously to the United States, and they hit especially close to home for Alaska, which is why it is no wonder that Senator Begich’s very first piece of legislation aimed to create an Arctic Ambassador, or why as Foreign Relations Committee Chairman I enjoyed a close partnership with Senator Murkowski on a treaty vital to energy and maritime interests important to Alaska. Going forward, I look forward to continuing to work closely with Alaska’s Congressional delegation to strengthen America’s engagement in Arctic issues.

Apparently, Alaska’s senators — Begich, and Murkowski — have been pressing for an ambassador  to the Arctic.

“The bottom line is that the changes we see in the Arctic warrant a higher level of involvement from the U.S. and this position will allow us to better exercise leadership and vision in Arctic policy moving forward,” Senator Begich said in a statement.

The title is ready, just need to know the name of the appointee. Oh, and see the move-in ready office below. Best hurry before it melts.

Igloo in Alert, Nunavut Photo via US Embassy Canada

Igloo in Alert, Nunavut
Alert is the northernmost permanently inhabited place in the world.
Photo via US Embassy Canada

Arctic Council Member States are Canada, Denmark (including Greenland and the Faroe Islands), Finland, Iceland, Norway, Russian Federation, Sweden, and the United States of America. Chairmanship of the Arctic Council rotates every two years between the eight member states.  Indigenous peoples also have permanent representation on the Council.  In May 2013, Canada assumed assumed the two-year chairmanship. The US last held the chairmanship in 1998-2000 and is scheduled to lead the council again in 2015-2017.

The State Department has yet to announce who will be appointed to this new post. The Special Representative position does not require Senate confirmation, so he/she will not be waiting for confirmation for a year.  There is also no danger of Senators asking questions like, “Have you been to the Arctic?”  or “Do you speak any of the Arctic region’s 40 indigenous languages?”

So hurry, apply now.

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Dear Diplopundit’s Friends, Thank You! — Every Blog Dies Eventually, But Not Everyday, and Not Today

–Domani Spero

Dear blog funders and supporters, thank you for your generous support!  I hope I have thanked each of you personally.  For the few anonymous donors who did not leave their contact email, please know that you have our deep gratitude for supporting our efforts.

Our crowdfunding project concluded over the weekend. We raised a total of $4,110.  Several additional contributions were sent through our Friends of Diplopundit via PayPal.  The total raised was not an unexpected result.  We know there are folks who consider what we do to be merely a “stamp your little foot hobby,” but we consider it work that requires time, dedication and energy. We  set the  goal of 40k to approximate what your blogger earned as an analyst some years ago.

The truth is that while your blogger is doing this kind of work, the hubby is responsible for bills.  And he’s not getting any younger.  In the real world, this has created what we would politely call a low-intensity conflict in the domestic front.  He means well.  He’s worried that your blogger may end up as a bag lady with bad teeth.  In any case, to avoid that end and further conflict, your blogger is looking at 2014 as a make or break year.  That means cobbling together enough funds this year to show that she can sustain what she’s doing financially.  In addition to the funds you have contributed, we are actively looking at ads, and sponsorships. We are also talking to a few “angel bundlers” who are interested in helping sustain the blog.  Whether that comes in separate funding or institutional support we still don’t know. We will update you when we know more.

In the short term, your blogger won’t be working the floors at WalMart.  The blog will continue as before.  Whether or not the blog remains after 2014 depends on what happens this year.

This past week, we learned that somebody we featured in this blog finally received the  help they needed.  What wonderful news!  To those reading this blog and made that happen, thank you!

In any case, we’ve got work to do — but for now, being alive is what counts.

And as our favorite Doctor would say, “We’re all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?”  We hope to make it our best one yet.

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