A note from a long time employee landed in our mailbox recently, tweaked to protect identifying punctuation marks -:) Below is a quick summary: 

• The State Department’s Something Affairs Bureau (SAB) is serious about that leadership precept of hiring the best team possible. 

• Need proof? SAB hired XXXX about a year ago as a ZZZZ, a position that “never existed before” in the Something Affairs Bureau.

• The writer notes that I may not recognize the new hire’s name but that I might recognize the person’s other name, which is Spouse of Former Assistant Secretary for Something Affairs.

• The note ends with something like “SAB is serious about hiring the best!”

Yeah, you go, dear! I don’t know all the details but sounds impressive… sign me up!

Now — if I marry that good looking Consul General over there, may I get a job that never existed before, too?

No? You mean a spouse of the Consul General is not high enough for a personalized job creation? Dammit! Now I have to find an Assistant Secretary to snag. Life just isn’t fair and shhh! I’m not/not getting any younger!  

Wait — if I cannot find a willing or available Assistant Secretary, would a Deputy Assistant Secretary do? Please, pretty, please? The DASes are almost as good as the AS.  I promise I’ll be very good. And I will come up with my very own job title (never before seen anywhere), so you won’t even have to worry about that. Deal?

Oh, the things you do for a job these days! But if I get a personalized job creation at the Something Affairs Bureau, that will give me health insurance, TSP, social security retirement, sick leave, etc. etc.!

Now, I gotta chore to run …

BTW — names and suggestions for blind dates with a dashing someone preferably ranked Assistant Secretary but no lower than a DAS accepted via email until further notice.