Image by Carla216 via Flickr
I am sorry to report that my Condoleezza’s Water & Waste Management Disruption Tower did not make it to Al Kamen’s Iraq Naming Contest. But just because it’s not blessed by the Washington Post, doesn’t mean you cannot call the embassy’s water and waste treatment facilities W2MD. What — you don’t think that’s a mighty cute name? Don’t make me go there and paint that name on the waste treatment building!
Anyway, I have to admit that the winners have a particularly endearing collection of names including a submission from a career Foreign Service officer. Submitted on background, of course (see #5): “The Bush Hanging Gardens, featuring the Wolfowitz Water (Boarding) Slide and the Douglas Leap of Feith bungee jump (you keep going up and down).”
The Bush Hanging Gardens – you think that’s the one in Al Hillah?
I am also rather fond of #4 “Bremer Bridge to Nowhere” although I think I would like it best as Jerry Bremer International Bridge to Nowhere or J-BIB-N. I also like very much one of the entries that did not make the cut — “Curveball Coliseum,” particularly the scoreboard that “can fabricate numbers more to your liking.”
From WaPo’s In the Loop – by Al Kamen
And now, the winners of the In the Loop Naming Opportunities contest for 2011. This was to rename Iraqi streets, towns, rivers and such, or places at the sprawling U.S. Embassy there to honor American officials for their efforts in that country in recent years.
1. “Bed, Baath and Beyond Boulevard,” submitted by Marty Siegel, a retired Coast Guard civilian employee from Alexandria.
2. “Known Knowns Avenue, with a cross street named Known Unknowns,” which would yield “Known Knowns Known Unknowns Square,” submitted by Steve Hein, marketing director at a military services organization.
3. “The Dick Cheney ‘Welcome Liberators Arch,’ which serves as the majestic back entrance to the new open-air Baghdad public shooting range.” Submitted on background by a Senate Republican aide.
4. “Bremer Bridge to Nowhere — a sister bridge to that great American symbol in Alaska.” Submitted by federal employee Martin O’Connor of Round Hill, Va.
5. “The Bush Hanging Gardens, featuring the Wolfowitz Water (Boarding) Slide and the Douglas Leap of Feith bungee jump (you keep going up and down).” Submitted on background by a career Foreign Service officer from Maine.
See the rest of the winners here.
As an aside, there’s one name not in the competition that just might do it for me for the city of Baghdad — Greater Georgebushistan or GG. Is there a stamp for that for my collection?