Because you’ll be mandatorily retired this year …

Congress says that your service can be extended beyond your 65th birthday if it is in the public interest.  Of course, they were too busy to bother listing down what constitutes “public interest;” and since nobody wants to bother finding out what that exactly means, and no transparent guidelines happen to be available on it, you need to get out no later than the last day of the month when you turn sixty and five. 

Oh, it doesn’t matter whether you have a month left on your tour or a few months; you get chuck out the airlock as soon as you hit the magic number. Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!

We can’t really tell where AFSA sits on this issue but we happen to think that this is quite cruel, especially after years of exemplary service to our country.  It’s not as if a few months staying on to fully conclude a tour of duty can really significantly impact the promotion of fresher blood within the Service.  It makes folks think that — well,  65=airlock. 65, airlock, 65, airlock. Yea, you get it?  A great feeling I’m sure to be treated like a dish rag …   

Since there are no Hallmark cards that can quite express the sentiments of this life changing event, we thought we’d make a series of ecards just for this special occasion.  First one below.  It’s a way to show how we really, truly, appreciate your talents and experience and service to this country. 

We are happy to entertain other sentiments for additional ecards that you can send to yourself and your friends.  But don’t send these ecards to political appointees; they all have the anti-airlock device. As far as we know, they all are unchuckable at 65. Unchuckable, that is — until the next election!