Crazy Little Thing Called Love — Send Us Your Valentines (Deadline February 11)

Posted: 18:53 PST

 

If you’d like to, you know, send a love note, to the next corridor, the one across town, or to the other side of the world, Diplopundit wants to help. This year, we will publish our readers’ valentines, so get cracking.

Submit your valentine (no more than 50 words) to diplopunditvalentines[at]nym.hush.com.  Deadline is Wednesday, February 11, 2015 (midnight).  If there is enough interest, the valentines received will go online on February 14.

For now, check out the Valentine’s Day candy conversation hearts. Made in Revere, Massachusetts, this classic candy has been around for almost 150 years!

Saw the “blog is dead” meme, and then, amazingly, you folks showed up to save this one!

 

OMG_yay reactiongifs

click image to visit theGFM campaign siteimage via reactiongifs.com

 

Thank you all and to the tireless volunteers who mounted an unbelievable campaign. Pardon the dust in the next few weeks as we go through a redesign. A new banner won’t be ready for a couple of weeks but some updates I want are now in the sandbox so we’ll get there in a bit. I’ll have have a longer post on this later.  Now, I need more Kleeeeenex! Oh, and then let’s go!

 

So hey, listen, the end is here … and I’m running out of Kleenex

Operation Enduring Freedom, the U.S.-led coalition in Afghanistan which started on October 7, 2001 officially ended its combat mission last Sunday, December 28, 2014, marking the formal end to our longest war in history.  In 2015, a follow-on mission, Operation Freedom’s Sentinel, is set to begin, “to help secure and build upon the hard-fought gains of the last 13 years.” According to the WSJ, some 18,000 foreign troops—about 10,600 of them American—are staying under the terms of two security pacts the Afghan government signed with the U.S. and the North Atlantic Treaty Organization this year.

There goes the cue for our scheduled exit.

The clock is ticking but we’ve got a few hours for one more story. Did we ever tell you how this blog came to be? No?

Well, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away …two things happened in unrelated order. One, there was a town hall meeting organized by DGHR to talk about Assignment Iraq with the press in attendance.

[Direct assignment] notices, which most diplomats first learned about from the news media as the e-mails sat in their office computers over the weekend, appeared to have catalyzed unease that has been swirling through the Foreign Service over issues that include Iraq, underfunding and inadequate recruitment, perceived disrespect from the U.S. military and the job performance of Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. 

What could go wrong? I watched the fallout of that and thought, holy gracious macaroni, the American public has no idea why FS personnel asked those questions.  And to this day, I still do not know know how many DGHRs went on to serve in war zones after twisting the arms of ordinary folks to do so.

Two, I was overseas. There was not much to do or see, and I was awful at quilting or painting. I was bored to death talking to two cats every day! Believing that an inactive brain accumulates rust and gradually is reduced to soft crumbling powder — well, I did not want any of that. It was a depressing time. I figured I could start a blog and try to learn something new everyday or I could make friends with Bourbon, Scotch and Rye.

I started Diplopundit and stuck with coffee.

My first blogpost went up on March 12, 2008. It was about prospective retirees and how to contact Congress about their unused sick leave.  To blog about the kind of topics I was interested in meant I had to do it anonymously to preclude subjecting loved ones and friends to potential pressure and blowback.  In practical terms, it also means I could not brag about the blog, could not put it on my resume, could not use it to gain favors in real life (don’t laugh! An FSO friend already called this ‘a first world problem’)…

Anyway, one time, I received a rant via email, and I blogged this: If You Can’t Walk Your Own Dog …Get a Fish.I could not tell who sent that rant, but I was at one post where the COM behaved in a similar fashion with similar reactions. It was good thing no one forced the mission to pick a motto or “follow the leader” would have been most laughable. At one post, during the embassy’s Christmas bazaar, the ambassador’s secretary and an official residence employee were tasked with selling crafts owned by the ambassador’s wife. During office hours. Nobody was nutty enough to say anything.

One day, the Office of Inspector General came for a routine inspection. The team had its own phone and email. I called for an appointment. I was told somebody would call me back. The next thing I knew, the team had left post.  I was to learn later that a friend on the Country Team who was juggling three jobs and had spent considerable time preparing files and folders for the inspection team barely was given time with the inspectors. No one was interested in his folders.

Months later, the OIG inspection report was released and post was mercifully declared perfect.

Those are a few of the things that shaped the formative period of this blog.

So that’s the story, no one went after me with an ax, not much of a thriller, huh?

Aaaand, the end of the blue line is here and dammit…I’m running out of Kleenex.

The attempt to save this blog is ongoing, and the friends of the blog who have been working mighty hard remain hopeful. But I’ve got to get off this train for now. I’ve made a promise to brush up the old resume and pound the sidewalk somewhere. If things work out, I hope to relaunch this site. If they don’t, I may need to buy more shoes!

In either case, I’ve enjoyed being your opinionated blogger and monitor of things, um …undiplomatic.  To those who patiently answered my questions, and to those who were kind enough to share their experience and perspective, my grateful appreciation. To all, thank you sincerely for your interest and support over the years.   Domani spero. Mwah!

 

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The Year In Review — 2014

– Domani Spero

 

Top Most Visited Posts of 2014:

 

 

The following posts are our additional picks for the year, just because:

A special note — Drowning in Smoggy Delhi: There’s No Blue Sky, So Where’s Blueair? (Updated) (1/29/2014), we just heard that Mission India has now distributed Blueair air purifiers to embassy employees, and that the lungs are grateful!

 

 

 

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Where One FSO, Two FSO, Red FSO, Blue FSO — Bravely Attempts to Save the Blog

Some readers have written us in the last couple of weeks offering to help keep the blog online.  I have told them as I’ve told you that we will not go the route of crowdfunding again. I suck at raising funds, I do not want to disappoint the blog’s core supporters and it would make walking away harder. See  4,000th! And now, the end is near …

A blog pal who is funny,and brave, also known as OneFSO has decided to set up a fundraising page via the GoFundMe website: http://www.gofundme.com/savediplopundit. AnotherFSO who is thoughtful, and persistent is  working to “bundle” pledges on the blog’s behalf.  These friends are working together in an attempt to keep the blog alive.  And yes, I know them but for prudent reasons we’ll go by their campaign nicknames.  I’m letting them run with it with one request that they do an “All or Nothing” campaign. It would help keep the peace in my house.

Screen Shot 2014-12-15

If you have sent donations to this blog via PayPal in the last couple of weeks, I have not accepted and will decline those funds.  However, if you are still thinking of helping the blog, you may support OneFSO’s Keep Diplopundit Alive campaign instead of using PayPal. If the campaign does not reach its funding goal, it will not collect any funds.

Okay, that’s it for housekeeping updates. Hey, look — catzilla!  – Domani Spero 

Updated: Thanks for the shoutout James Bruno of Diplo-Denizen and Sadie Abroad!  I want that water cooler convo included in my obit , Jim.

Updated: Thanks @FS_Problems!

Updated: Thanks Shawn of Foreign Service Test!

From prguitarman.tumblr.com via Giphy

Fix the Leaning Tower of Pisa strategery?  Sheesh! Am I the only one who agrees with everything she writes all the time? From prguitarman.tumblr.com via Giphy

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4,000th! And now, the end is near …

– Domani Spero

 

This is our 4,000th blogpost. A prodigious ‘bloggers in pajama’ project, huh?  These posts accounted for tons of words over the the last seven years, and if this were a printed journal, it would require a wheelbarrow. We wish we could  stay and dance but we have some sad news (or happy news depending on your perspective). We’re sorry to report that it looks like the blog won’t get to its 5,000th post.

We’ve worked hard the last several months,with only minor success, to find grants, direct ads, and/or sponsors for Diplopundit . A couple of commercial entities pledged to sponsor us for 2015. And, a prospective private donor, who certainly does not agree with all our viewpoints but thinks our absence would eliminate a much needed voice for Foreign Service accountability, has committed to supporting the blog (Thanks!). Those contributions would total approximately $10K,  but that is far short of the amount we need to stay online.

Truth to tell, we  kind of suck at raising money, so political bundling definitely will not/not be in our future. We’re also apparently, not very good at making friends with the “right” people. Just for the record, we’re actually quite nice and do not bite. The blog sometimes gets bitey though, but always within reason, and never with viral polioencephalitis, but … can you blame folks for slamming their doors on the “darn blog?”

Is this the end?  Perhaps this is just the universe telling your blogger to go take a hike because there’s something just as interesting down the road!  To blog pals and supporters offering to contribute to a crowdfunding, thank you all. It probably will not be surprising to you that the number of our blog supporters and funders is a distinct minority in the universe of this blog’s total readers. We tried crowdfunding for 2014 but we’re not looking at doing it again; it would make walking away simply harder.  For those who send donations every month, kindly please make arrangements to cancel your automated contributions.  To the blog angels who are still trying to locate funding for this blog even at this late hour, we are grateful for your tireless efforts. Thank you.

Not sure yet when will be our last blog post but it will be later this month. If anything dramatic changes, we will post an update. If we win the lottery, and are able to save the blog, you’ll be the first to know!

Please enjoy the fantastic Ed Sheeran and the blog’s remaining days.

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A Note About the Burn Bag

– Domani Spero

 

Just a quick note on the Burn Bag — we’re not always able to publish the entries you send us, or as quickly as you may want.  The intent remains the same, it’s cheaper than therapy.  We’re still talking about the “I’m feeling blue, I want to scream” things that you can’t put on your blog, things that’s making you tear out your hair or stuff you can’t tell your friends here or at post because — admit it, you live in a very large fishbowl.  As a reminder, kindly check the guidelines for sending your Burn Bag entries here.

One of our regular readers, a former ambassador suggested that some of these Burn Bag entries ought to be submitted not to this blog but to the OIG Hotline. That, of course, is not/not up for us to decide but for the writers/senders of these Burn Bag entries.

In any case, we promised to remind you about the Hotline.

If you need to report waste, fraud or mismanagement, please contact the State Department Office of Inspector General Hotline.   If you need to, you may contact the Hotline via email: oighotline@state.gov or call 202-647-3320 or 800-409-9926.

According to the State/OIG website, examples of allegations that should be reported to the OIG Hotline include misuse, embezzlement or theft of government property or funds; contract or procurement fraud; contractor misconduct; passport and visa malfeasance; fraud, waste and mismanagement of Department and BBG operations; employee misconduct, such as misuse of official position; bribes or unauthorized acceptance of gifts; conflicts of interest and other ethical violations; and defense trade control violations.

Please check out the rest on the OIG Hotline page here.

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Earth Embassy Ganymede Administrative Notice #04-010103: Morale, WD-40, Duct Tape

– Domani Spero

Originally posted in Diplopundit on April 18, 2013. Republished today for a very good reason.

Administrative Notice #05-011300: Morale

It has come to management’s attention that there has been a lot of chatter and hyperspace email about morale and safety at this outpost.  This notice serves as a reminder to everyone under Ganymede outpost authority that discussion about morale is an unproductive use of work time. Morale is self-esteem in action; individuals who perceived that morale is lacking may need help in improving their self-esteem. Please make every effort to schedule an appointment to see the quadrant psychiatrist.

Ganymede management fully believes, like the 34th American President Dwight Eisenhower, that the best morale exist when you never hear the word mentioned. In that sprit, management formally informs all departments and employees that morale is not/not an issue and is not/not a subject to be discussed in hypermail, text, video, radio, verbal or any alternate manner of communication within and outside the mission.  Anyone caught peddling these stories will be subject to disciplinary action, including but not limited to curtailment of current assignment or a lengthy TDY to the outermost prograde moon of Carpo.

In an effort to be responsive to all concerns, below are some FAQs that the section  had the pleasure of addressing the last 12 moons. We hope that the answers are useful to you and your families and help alleviate persistent concerns.

English: WD-40

English: WD-40 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
EaEmbassy Ganymede

Is Ganymede a family-friendly post?

Absolutely. It is the most family-friendly assignment in the quadrant with excellent schools and some of the best apartments available in the sector. Living conditions are approximated to be similar to the home planet and the quality of life is super-excellent.  Consistent demand for assignments to this outpost has repeatedly resulted in a long wait list at every rotation cycle.

I’ve been thinking of asking for a transfer to Ganymede.  But I heard that life there is a big joke … I don’t get what’s the joke.

Life in Ganymede is not/not a big joke. Once you understand that Ganymede is too big to fail, you’ll find your groove. This is the place where you want to be.  No other outpost will afford you the challenges and opportunities to excel and earn a fast-tracked promotion.

How safe is Ganymede given that riots are breaking out in all parts of the hostplanet:

Safe. Very safe, if you’re careful.

Ganymedeans breached the outpost walls, they can do it again, should I worry?

There’s no reason to worry.  Ganymedeans are not/not anti-Earthlings, anti-humans or what have you.  They were blowing off steam. Period. Now that they have, things should return to normal. If you think things have not returned to normal, give it time; things should return to normal. Soon.

There are assaults reported daily, it sounds like traveling around the hostplanet has become extremely dangerous. Is that perception correct?

Ganymede is the largest moon in this sector. Like any large, densely inhabited city on Earth (e.g. New York City, New Delhi, Bogota, Buenos Aires), crime is ever present. This is not/not unique to this outpost.  Travel in pairs if needed, and bring your stun gun, if necessary.

The Manager for Planetary Services reportedly quit over extreme bureaucratic bullying, is this true?

Absolutely not. The manager quit because the official got too old for the job. Other employers in this sector throw old officials out the airlock. Fortunately, EaEmbassy Ganymede has a generous separation package specifically for older workers traveling back to the home planet.

There are rumors and allegations that some of the top Ganymede officials have, on several occasions, pushed and bossed around subordinates and threatened them with penalties. How accurate are these stories?

Have you ever heard of American poet, Robert Frost?  He said that the reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.  Isn’t that an excellent point?  Stop listening to rumors. Stop worrying. All our top Ganymede officials were handpicked and subjected to a battery of reviews and 360 feedbacks from friends, peers, and colleagues. All with spectacular results. They are all as lovable and huggable as Alaskan polar bears.

I used to have an open mind, then I got to Ganymede and my brains kept falling out. What am I doing wrong?

To keep an open mind, a person needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape. This works even in Ganymede.

I am terribly upset that my concerns have not been taken seriously.  How do I set a laser printer to stun?

The management office works hard to address all of your concerns and aims to make every assignment to Ganymede a satisfying one.   Unfortunately, all laser printer at post at this time do not have a stun setting.  However, the procurement section is exploring the possibility of adding a stun setting to all laser printers with end of year funding.

 

Note that this is from a work in progress.  Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.  Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Morale is self-esteem in action,  is a quote by Avery Weisman; WD-40 and laser printer quips are found items around the net.

Ugh! Just saw that the Russians are interested on Ganymede, now.  Well, dammit, I am not changing my fictional embassy’s name again, so don’t write to complain about that.

 

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